


Desire, Jealousy, Fear, and Adoration

by Nobody_Music_19



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Birthday, Christmas, Comfort, Confusion, Denial, F/M, Femininity, Gender Roles, Lipstick & Lip Gloss, Makeup, Shopping, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27396517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nobody_Music_19/pseuds/Nobody_Music_19
Summary: "Nobody gets to tell you what you can and can not wear. It’s your body.”“It’s weird...It's wrong.”
Relationships: Jenna Black/Tyler Joseph
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12





	Desire, Jealousy, Fear, and Adoration

**Author's Note:**

> This has been sitting in my Google docs for awhile and I decided to post it in an attempt to ease the minds of my American readers. This honestly is not the best and it could be a lot better, but I'm not really interested in working on it anymore.
> 
> APARTMENT 8C UPDATE: The next chapter is partially written but it is a particularly long chapter and because of what happens I want to make sure everything is perfect. Sorry it's taking so long, I've also been extremely busy with school and finishing up the first quarter. (I ended with a 4.6 gpa so the small break was necessary in relation to my grades.)
> 
> Everything is going to be okay, stay strong guys, stay alive. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, sorry that it's kind of complete garbage.

Jenna stood in front of her bathroom counter and looked into the mirror as she applied her makeup. She blindly reached for her mascara and looked down when her fingertips brushed over an empty slot. Her black tube of mascara was a few slots over to the left as opposed to the slot she always placed it. 

That had been happening more and more frequently as the weeks passed by. At first she genuinely thought that she was losing her mind. Her makeup continued to show up in slightly different places than where she put it away and she could not figure out why. After all, the only people in the house were her and Tyler. It got to the point where she ended up taking a picture of her makeup bag before she left the house and comparing it with the picture when she got home. 

Some of the makeup had switched places.  
That had really confused her. 

It took a few more instances before she really put the pieces together. She had been getting ready for a friend's wedding that her and Tyler were attending and she kept catching his eyes in the reflection. The way he looked at her, more specifically the makeup she was applying to her face, put everything perfectly in place.

The longing look on his face was a mixture of desire, jealousy, fear, and adoration. She knew from that moment on that it had been Tyler the entire time. 

Jenna was not angry. She was not repulsed. If anything, she was sad. She was sad that Tyler did not trust her enough to share that part of him with her. 

Looking back into the mirror, she applied a little extra lipstick, then immediately turned the light off and made her way over to Tyler. She kissed him square on the lips and was satisfied to see that a hint of the color had transferred over. 

She took note of the fact that he did not even attempt to wipe it off. If anything, he brought his lips together in an attempt to achieve even coverage. 

At that moment, Jenna decided to configure a plan. 

. . .

A few more weeks had passed and not much had changed. Tyler continued to secretly use Jenna’s makeup when she was not home, and she continued to figure out her plan. 

It was November, 12th when she finally decided to put her plan into action. 

Around noon she walked up to Tyler, “I’m going to go out to the mall. I want to get a head start on Christmas shopping this year.” He looked up from his spot on the couch, “What time do you think you’re going to be home?” She did not miss the hopeful glint in his eyes as he spoke those words. “Probably around 4:30pm, maybe 5:00pm? I’m not sure. I’ll be home with enough time to cook dinner.” 

Tyler nodded, “Okay, I love you.” Jenna leaned forward and kissed him goodbye, “I love you, too” 

Jenna then grabbed her coat and her purse, and made her way out of the house. 

Tyler kept his distance, but watched to make sure she got into her car and pulled out of the driveway. He waited about three more minutes, then checked the driveway again just to make sure she was not coming back before he excitedly jogged to the master bathroom. 

He flipped on the light switch and immediately opened the bag of makeup. He grabbed the blush first and carefully applied it to his cheeks with the fluffy brush. He reached for the eyeliner next. It was a simple brown pencil but he still had not entirely mastered getting the lines straight and the correct distance away from his eyes. He liked it to look simple, no wings or anything crazy like that. He just outlined along his eyelashes on his top and bottom eyelid. He looked up into the mirror and smiled. It looked better than the last time; he was definitely improving. 

Tyler did not fully know when he first started becoming interested in makeup, but watching Jenna put it on day after day changed something in him. The first time he built up enough courage to actually apply it to his own face changed his life. He could not put into words how confident and strong it made him feel. He felt whole. 

His interest slowly turned into jealousy as he watched Jenna put makeup on her face to go out, knowing that he was not able to. Don’t get him wrong, Tyler happily ignored many gender roles including some of the floral clothing he owed but he could just not shake the feeling of being judged in public because men aren’t supposed to wear makeup. That infuriated him. 

He did not understand why other people got to decide what he did and did not wear in public. Anger quickly turned into sadness and he could not ignore that feeling he felt when he and Jenna were going out and he knew he could not fully present himself the way he wanted to. 

Shaking his head, Tyler looked back into the mirror at his face. He had applied some neutral eyeshadow to his eyelids while he thought. Next, he reached for the mascara and carefully applied it to his top and bottom eyelashes. Many curse words had escaped his lips the first couple of times he applied mascara because he somehow managed to get it all over his eyelids and nose, but now he was nearly a professional.

Finally, he reached for the muted pink lipstick that had quickly become his favorite. He carefully applied it to his lips and made sure he covered every section. He rubbed his lips together to spread the color, then looked into the mirror. 

Tyler smiled at his reflection because he looked beautiful. He felt more confident than he had merely twenty minutes before and soaked up the feeling. 

He quickly put all of the makeup back into the case, then exited the bathroom. He glanced at the clock on the wall. 12:47pm. He had hours before Jenna was going to be home. He mentally planned out the timing: if he wiped the makeup off at 3:00pm that would definitely give him enough time to not get caught and that left him with a little over two hours to get to wear it. 

Tyler walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch to turn the tv on. 

Meanwhile, Jenna had just left Target after picking up the few things she needed and was on her way home. She did not enjoy lying to Tyler but she wanted him to feel safe telling her anything and after years of being with him she knew that the only way that was going to happen was if she made the first move. She pulled up into the driveway of their house at 1:36pm and opened and closed her car door as quietly as she could. 

She walked up to the front door and quietly opened it then stepped inside. She immediately spotted the back of Tyler’s head on the couch and started walking over to him. “I’m home,” she called in his direction. 

Tyler jumped from being startled then jumped up from the couch. He stared at her like a deer caught in headlights. He was practically radiating fear and his heart felt like it was going to pop out of his chest.

Jenna took in his full face of makeup, not at all surprised, then walked up to him to peck his lips in an attempt to break him out of his trance. “You look nice.” She smiled at him, but he kept the terrified expression on his face. After a few moments to process what the hell was happening, Tyler choked out, “What?” 

Jenna set her purse down on the couch, then repeated herself, “I said you look nice. I like that color on you.” 

Tyler took what seemed like the first breath in close to two minutes. He remained silent. Jenna started making her way into the kitchen, “I’m going to make lunch. Have you eaten yet?” 

He shook his head then pointed towards the bedroom, “I-I’m going to take a shower.” Jenna nodded, knowing that she should not push him. “Okay, I’ll make you a sandwich for when you’re done.” 

Tyler stumbled into the bedroom, leaving Jenna in the kitchen.

When Tyler returned after his shower, any trace of makeup on his face was gone. Jenna tried to make conversation but Tyler kept to one word answers. They ate in silence.

. . . 

A couple more weeks had passed and Jenna had not noticed Tyler using her makeup once. They also hadn’t talked about the incident since it happened.

They were both getting ready for thanksgiving at Tyler’s parents house and Jenna did not miss the emotion in his eyes when they fell on her makeup bag. 

She sighed and they left the house.

. . . 

On November 29th Jenna actually did go to the mall. She went directly to Sephora. She grabbed a small basket then wandered around the shelves throwing in different eyeshadows and lipsticks. 

When she got home she noticed that some of her own lipsticks were out of place. She smiled. 

. . . 

On December 1st Jenna sat down with Tyler and handed him a gift bag, “Happy birthday.” Tyler smiled and took the shiny bag from her.  
He pulled the tissue paper out and peered inside. He froze as his eyes laid on the many different makeup items. 

Jenna spoke, “I thought you’d like your own so we don’t have to share mine.” 

Tyler paused for a moment, then brought his hands up to his face and started to cry. Jenna immediately thought she had messed up, “I can take it all back-“ Tyler cut her off, “No, I love it. Thank you.” His shoulders continued to shake and tears fell from his eyes from being so overwhelmed with so many different emotions. 

He wiped the tears off of his face then pulled out the numerous tubes of lipstick, eyeliner, brushes, mascara, foundation, blush, and nude eyeshadow pallets. Jenna watched as he gently ran his fingers over everything, as if it was the most precious thing in the world and would shatter if not handled delicately. 

“I can show you how to apply some of these if you want; give you some tips.” 

Tyler immediately nodded his head, and wiped the lingering tears from his face, but then looked up into Jenna's eyes and she saw the doubt clear as day. 

“Hey,” she took his hand, “Nobody gets to tell you what you can and can not wear. It’s your body.” 

“It’s weird...It's wrong.” 

Jenna met his eyes, “Makeup has no gender. It’s no different than putting product in your hair. If it makes you feel good and you want to wear it, then you have no reason not to allow yourself to wear it.” 

He nodded, then his eyes fell back on the tubes of lipstick. Jenna lightly smiled then started to stand up, “Come on, I’ll show you some of my makeup tricks.” 

Tyler happily gathered his makeup in his hands and followed her into the bathroom. 

He set his new makeup on the countertop, then turned to face her. She picked up the foundation first as well as a brush. 

“I’m not sure if this will exactly match your complexion, but I think it’s close. You’ll have to go with me to find a complete match.” Tyler nodded eagerly watching her hands. She brought the foundation up to his face and squeezed some onto his cheeks. 

“Okay, so you only want a little bit of this, and you want to try and get even coverage. So you’re going to take the brush and spread it around. Try to keep the strokes straight.” He took the brush from her hands and carefully followed her directions while looking in the mirror. 

They went through all of the makeup, using the same process. Tyler ended up settling on a new dark red lipstick that had a hint of purple in it. It looked fantastic with his complexion and he could not help but smile when he admired his work in the mirror. 

. . . 

A few more weeks had passed and life went on as normal. 

Christmas had finally arrived and Tyler and Jenna were getting ready to leave for Tyler’s parents house. Jenna was in the bathroom finishing up her makeup when she noticed Tyler nervously walking around the bedroom. Multiple times he started to walk towards the bathroom then turn around and start pacing again. 

Jenna set down her brush and sighed. She walked into the bedroom, took Tyler’s hand, and led him into the bathroom with her. Then she opened his makeup bag and set it in front of him, “I can tell that you want to wear it. Put on whatever you want.” He shook his head.

“They won’t understand.”

“They don’t need to. This is for you, not them.”

Jenna studied his face. It was obvious that he was having an internal conflict. He wanted to wear the makeup, she could see it in his eyes.  
She reached over and picked up his mascara, “How about just this. Your eyelashes are already so dark that they won’t even notice.” 

He hesitated for a moment, but eventually took the mascara from her. She kissed his cheek, “I’ll meet you in the car.” 

Tyler walked down the stairs a couple of minutes later. The mascara he applied to his eyelashes was not extremely noticeable, but it was there if you looked up close. Jenna could tell by the look on his face that it did make a difference to him. He looked happier. More confident.

The drive to Tyler’s parents house was short and Jenna could tell that he was nervous. She rested a hand on his thigh, “You look beautiful.” He smiled,”Thank you.” 

They walked inside and said their hellos, and Jenna was right; nobody had even noticed the mascara that Tyler was wearing. 

It was not until later in the evening that Tyler was sitting at the kitchen counter, snacking on some pretzels that Tatum, his sister-in-law, walked up and sat down next to him. “I’m not even hungry but I’m craving something.” He laughed. 

She glanced up at him, then paused, gently she asked, “Are you wearing makeup?” Tyler internally panicked and it was evident on his face. “Yeah, I, Jenna, we were doing an experiment to see if anyone noticed and-“ 

“It looks nice,” she cut him off. Tyler relaxed but unbeknownst to him, Jenna had asked Tatum if Zack, Tyler’s brother, had ever shown any interest in wearing makeup, and asked for some advice regarding Tyler months before. 

“Thank you.” 

She grabbed a handful of pretzels, gently squeezed Tyler’s shoulder with her free hand, then rejoined the party. Tyler glanced at his family members around the room and smiled. 

A weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. 

END.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comment, subscribe, share!!
> 
> Stay alive, A.


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